Adults in the life of my children

Today my 16 yo daughter was not doing very well. Actually it has been a veeerrryyy lllooonnnggg wwweeeeeeek of her not doing well. Today at Homeschool Park Day, a woman from our homeschool group asked her how she was. She said OK, but the woman wouldn't take that for an answer. She knew that my daughter was lying, and she said so! Next, she encouraged (well, actually, demanded) that my daughter call any member of her family if she is ever depressed. Some member of her family would come and pick my daughter up to bring her to their house for the day.

How thankful I am to have other adults in my children's lives to help them along the way. I am not so delusional to think I am the only influence in my kids' lives. No Way! They need other grounded adults to show them the way to go. My daughter needs others to tell her the very things I tell her because she does not always think I'm the smartest person on the planet. She can take "medicine" from others when it's difficult to take it from Mom.

I attended my nephew's 8th grade graduation in Santa Rosa on Wednesday. Each middle-school teacher picks a few graduates to bless. I was impressed by the love shown to these students by their teachers. Not only do these students have parents who care - they have teachers who care about their character. Most of the blessings were about character.

There are sometime adults that I do not let my children around. Usually, unfortunately, they are from our church family. These adults tear down my kids and try to spread gossip with them. These kinds of adults really aren't mature Christians they are just physically mature human beings with an infantile spiritual life. I am very careful to be present when these adults approach my children. I have told my children that I will protect them from these individuals.

How careful we are to be as parents! Do I let my kids go with that person? Do I let my kids take a class at the community college? Do I let my kids hang out at that house? Most of the time the Holy Spirit will give me a sense of who is safe and who is not. I am thankful for His guidance in all areas of my children's protection - physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual.

To Sebastopol

I am headed to Sebastopol to visit with my parents, to see some friends, and to speak at an FA meeting. I love visiting my parents, I love seeing my friends, and I love speaking at FA meetings. What I don't love is the feeling I still have when I'm heading to Sebastopol. It's not as bad as it used to be, but I still have some healing to do. I've come so far in my ability to forgive the Christians that hurt me so much and acted in what I believe to be a very ungodly way toward me and my family. God has enabled me to move past most of those hurts, but there is still just a little feeling of anxiety when I think about Sebastopol. I love the town with all its hippies and the most awesome coffee shop in existence. I try to focus on the memories I have prior to the "incident" at Sebastopol Christian Church. There are so many wonderful memories - nearly 30 years worth.

As I drive across Napa Valley toward Sonoma County, I will meditate on those beautiful memories. I will think about how much God loves me. I will think about how truly blessed I am to believe in a Jesus who will never leave me. A Friend and Savior, Jesus Christ, who knows how it feels to be treated unfairly. That's what I'm thinking about today.

DISCERNMENT

For some time now, I have been aware of a certain "group" in our Christian homeschooling community. This "group" (for lack of a better term) of believers has very strong views regarding:

1. How we should organize church
2. How families are to be organized
3. How Christians are to be having dominion over the world
4. How many children a Christian should have
5. What version of the Bible is truly inspired
6. Whether or not girls should go to college
7. How old the earth is

This group is represented by many different publishers, authors, websites, magazines, DVDs, You Tube videos, and conferences that teach various aspects of these ideas. (I'm sure you know some of their names - I'm not going to name them here.....well.....because I just don't want to.) I own a lot of their books, I get their magazines, I read their websites, I have listened to them at homeschool conferences, I have watched their teaching on You Tube, and I receive their catalogs. I have spoken to them at homeschool conferences, and I have spoken to their children at homeschool conferences.

Here's what I have come to realize - there's a lot of truth to be gained by listening to the leaders and followers of these "groups". But one must tread carefully and always listen and read with discernment.

When I recommend a book from one of these "groups", I do so very carefully. I do not recommend any of their books to a new Christian woman. These books must be read with discernment, and, usually, a new Christian does not yet know enough about God's Word to be able to be discerning. Most of the information in most of their books offer good, Biblical advice on living out the Christian life, but, without fail, I come across a teaching that just doesn't sound quite right. So what do I do? I open my Bible. I read the portion of scripture that they are using, and I find that their position is just shy of center. I understand where they are coming from, but I cannot accept the Biblical position they are suggesting.

I honestly have yet to find a better book on being a godly wife than Created To Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl. I have read this book 3 times, and I still get so much out of it! This does not mean that I agree with EVERYTHING Mrs. Pearl says in this book, but I appreciate the book because I can filter out the few things I don't agree with biblically, and concentrate on the mostly wonderful things taught in the book. I'm not going to throw out the baby with the bathwater - so to speak.

I'd like to think that there are other Christian homeschoolers out there who are also encouraged by some of this "group's" teaching, yet do not believe every aspect of this "group's" teaching hook, line, and sinker.

These are just some of my current thoughts on Christian homeschooling. I hope my words are not slanderous, but rather edifying in order to spur someone on to read, watch, and listen with discernment.

Grandad

The cherry design of my blog is in remembrance of my Grandfather, Ruben Schlager, who grew cherries in The Dalles. He died April 20, 2010. He was 5 days shy of his 89th birthday. He was an amazingly loving man who has shaped me into the person I am today. He truly showed God's unconditional love to me. He is buried in Dufur, Oregon. I miss him very much!!

Healing

FB has kept me away from blogging, but here I am again.

I am amazed how The LORD has healed my family. I'm not surprised because I knew He would, but I am in awe of His healing powers. Our family has been through the toughest of situations - losing most of our faith family, Scott losing his job, being forced out of a church I have belonged to since I was 9, having to move to a different town, being very disappointed with "Christian" leaders - all these things could have completely shut us down. We learned that through it all, our only truth is Christ Our Rock. There are times in life where you have awesome friends, awesome family, etc. But there are also times when every human fails you, and all you're left with is Christ. I am thankful for the heritage my parents instilled in me to believe in God.

It's Monday, usually a very hard day in the life of this homeschool Mom. Today I woke up a little late, but I've been hard at work ever since. I hung out a load of laundry, wrote up all the school schedules for the week, and even had time to post on my blog. I'm so thankful for the new energy I have since I've returned to FA. I love my new sponsor. She is very understanding and encouraging. My obsession with food has been lifted for today.

God has been so good to me. I'm grateful for His constant love and kindness toward me. I feel as though I've finally settled into my life - not only here in Napa, but my whole life. I've been on edge and stressed out since 2007. That sounds awful, but it is very true. I'm settled in (to our new home), settled down (emotionally and mentally), and serene (deep down inside my soul).

Through the tender mercy of our God,

Whereby the dayspring from on high hath visited us;

To give light to them that sit in darkness and in the shadow of death

And to guide our feet into the way of peace