Thoughts on Church

Where do I start...seriously. I've lived my life in church. Actually, in church for most of it. Growing up the pastor's daughter is not a very good way to grow up. There are 2 reasons I've made it this far:
1. My parents are totally cool
2. Jesus
I would not wish being a pastor's daughter on ANYBODY.

I've been thinking about a couple of things regarding church and I had to write them down because they were bugging me so much. It really helps me to write - it's actually a tool for FA.

First, I hate church. I really hate the corporate, American, personality-driven, popular church of today. (When I use the word "church " here I DO NOT mean people). There are the sex and money scandals...blah, blah, blah. We've heard them all before. There are the divisions, the internal problems...it nauseates me to even go on. I look around at the churches in America today and all I see is a cult of personality. A cult of personality. The cool, hip pastor leading an unthinking group of people to a more "authentic" church or a conservative Bible-thumping pastor leading a flock of modestly clad clones down the road to "like-minded" fellowship. Ugh!

When you strip away all the church stuff - finances, attendance, music, bulletins, pews, buildings, potlucks, etc - what you get is that there is ONE GUY in charge and it is not Jesus. I don't care if a church says it has a board of elders or not. There is still one person in charge - one person with the strongest personality who has the ability to wield his power over the others. The thing is, people like this. They want to follow someone, someone they can see. They want to not have to think and they want to allow another person to tell them what to do and believe.

The corporate, American church is so far away from what REAL church is - i.e. a group of people following Jesus. I am sick of looking for a church in my town. I am not interested in going into some building, sitting down with people I do not know, listening to a pastor lecture me for 30 minutes (where did that come from? Oh yeah - the Greeks), singing songs done to bad music on untuned instruments, and praying for 30 seconds. I.Am.Not.Interested.

Another thing I notice is the whining and begging coming from leadership. "We need immediate help in the nursery..." "We need someone to head-up the after church potlucks...." Over and over again, in every email and bulletin. Here's a question: if the church is supposedly filled with people following Jesus, why is there a need to constantly nag them to do service? If the people at church are truly following Jesus, all the needs in that group would be met by the outpouring of love and service from the hearts of the people! I have yet to see this happen in a typical American church. This alone tells me there is something very wrong.

I am not sure what all this means to me. I will keep attending church - sporadically. I am keeping my eyes open for something new. I know that there are groups of people doing new things (or are they "old"?). Francis Chan is doing something very unusual in SF - he's discipling people so that they can disciple people. Wow, what a concept. No church building, no pastor? Just a group of people learning to live more like Jesus and getting ready to pass on the good news to the next group of people Jesus sends their way.

~I don't mean for this post to sound angry. I am not angry, just tired of what I see over and over again.

Thoughts on a Homeschool Convention

I attended our state Christian homeschool convention this past weekend. It gets smaller and smaller each year, both in vendors and workshop speakers. As I listened to the keynote speakers during the opening session, I died a little on the inside. What I heard was, "A Christian homeschooling boy looks like this and a Christian homeschooling girl looks like that." I also heard some other comments from the main speakers that were just too simplistic and some were downright unkind. What I mean is this: They were giving black and white answers for "grey" and sometimes very complicated matters and they were doing it in an insensitive manner. It's embarrassing to me. The world already thinks we Christians aren't compassionate and don't think, and we keep proving them right!

Then when it was time for the legislative update from our national homeschool legal association, I had a epiphany. First, I want to say that I appreciate the work that these lawyers are doing on behalf of homeschooling. Here's what I noticed: they have a republican agenda. (I guess I've missed this before). I am not a republican. I am an independent.  This troubled me.

Needless to say, this will be my last trip to my state Christian homeschool conference. I'm done. I will no longer align myself with these people. I can't and I won't. I've got to find homeschoolers that have a wide grace!

I know I'm not alone. I thank God for revealing these things to me and giving me the courage to follow what I know to be true. The only weapons I have are my money - I won't spend my money to support any organizations that act like this, my words - I will speak out about what God calls us to do as Christians, and my prayers - for God to draw Christians back to the truth of His love and grace.