How FA changed me

During the last 14 months, I have been in a recovery group called FA - Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous. I have lost over 50 lbs and gained sanity, clarity and spiritual renewal.

One of the things I have learned to do is identify the feelings that I used to eat over. If I am feeling anxious and unsettled, I try to stop what I'm doing a take a look at my heart. Usually, I am feeling something that makes me uncomfortable and I want to eat over it to make it go away temporarily. I have learned that I don't have to eat over anything. Nothing is so bad that I will use food to numb myself out.

Instead, I will pray and take it all to God. I don't know when I began to hold up food as an idol to take the place of God's comfort, but I am so glad I no longer do that. Now, for the rest of my life, I get to keep God in the proper place. The place where He belongs in my life - FIRST PLACE.

Sunday at Island Family Christian Church

I love church in Hawaii. First of all, everyone is very kind and welcoming with plenty of aloha. Second of all, they have a great band to worship with. Third, my kids all love their classes. My middle schooler and high schooler have both been accepted and included. Fourth, it is heaven to listen to my Dad preach again. I've missed his preaching so much. He's in the middle of a series on the family. Today was "Do not commit adultery". It was excellent.

It is so wonderful to sing praises with a group of people and know that you are all One in Christ. The people at Island Family are locals - Hawaiian, Samoan, Tongan, Filipino and military, but they all get together to praise God on Sunday morning.

Being a keeper at home - away from home

It's strange to be so far away from home on vacation. The kids and I are visiting my parents who live in Honolulu. What I have found is that I need to be just as focused on keeping my temporary "home" as I am focused on keeping my "home" home. The kids still need down time, I need to have home-cooked meals, I need to make sure the kids don't watch too much television, and I need to remind the boys to treat each other respectfully with no insulting talk.

Also, My husband needs me when I'm away. We have been separated for almost 2 weeks now, and I won't see him until next Tuesday. Boy, do I miss him! The old saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is really true. I keep checking in with him. I call to ask if there is anything I can do to help him while I am here. I send him encouraging emails. I keep up to date on the finances. I'm still a keeper of my home and a help mate to my husband, even though I'm away from home.

I find this task in my life to be very rewarding - exhausting, yes - but worth every second spent serving my family.

God has rewarded me with plenty of time to spend in His Word during this trip. I'm enjoying reading through my Bible and writing in my journal.

Another thing is that I'm getting to work on being a honorable daughter. Sometimes this is not easy, and my critical spirit rises up in my heart. I was not raised by perfect people. I know this, but sometimes I have a high expectation of my parents to be something they can't be. They are wonderful parents who didn't teach me everything I know, but who poured God's love into me every day of my life. I'm finding ways to honor them in my words and actions while I'm visiting in their home.

We're having a good time here. The beaches are awesome!!

difficult times ahead

There are some difficult times ahead for our family, but I know God is right here with us. Here is one of my favorite Psalms:

Psalm 27 - A psalm of David.
The Lord is my light and my salvation—
so why should I be afraid?
The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger,
so why should I tremble?
When evil people come to devour me,
when my enemies and foes attack me,
they will stumble and fall.
Though a mighty army surrounds me,
my heart will not be afraid.
Even if I am attacked,
I will remain confident.
The one thing I ask of the Lord—
the thing I seek most—
is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
delighting in the Lord’s perfections
and meditating in his Temple.
For he will conceal me there when troubles come;
he will hide me in his sanctuary.
He will place me out of reach on a high rock.
Then I will hold my head high
above my enemies who surround me.
At his sanctuary I will offer sacrifices with shouts of joy,
singing and praising the Lord with music.
Hear me as I pray, O Lord.
Be merciful and answer me!
My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.”
And my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming.”
Do not turn your back on me.
Do not reject your servant in anger.
You have always been my helper.
Don’t leave me now; don’t abandon me,
O God of my salvation!
Even if my father and mother abandon me,
the Lord will hold me close.
Teach me how to live, O Lord.
Lead me along the right path,
for my enemies are waiting for me.
Do not let me fall into their hands.
For they accuse me of things I’ve never done;
with every breath they threaten me with violence.
Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness
while I am here in the land of the living.
Wait patiently for the Lord.
Be brave and courageous.
Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.

Negative

Another realization of mine - I'm a negative person for the most part. This is a natural way I view life. I am an analytical/critical thinker, so I tend to be critical, negative and not easily swayed to anyone's ideas. These are good sometimes, but I don't want my critical spirit to come out to my family, especially my children. Help me to change, God. You are the only One with enough power to change me. I am truly a fallen wretch. How gracious of You to never leave me. Thank You for holding my hand right now. I don't deserve it at all.

Awesome radio stations in Honolulu

So we are in Honolulu and there are 2 awesome Christian radio stations here. One is Air 1 which I wish we got instead of K-Love at home. Then there is THE FISH. Both are great to listen to. I have been very encouraged by these stations during our stay here. Thank You, God.

Great difficulty

There is something going on in my life right now that I can't write about on my blog, but it is b.i.g. I'm having many feelings - worry, anger, a sense that injustice has been done, great sadness, and a little fear. Usually fear does not creep up on me, but it has a little. I will not let it overtake me though. I am blogging these admissions of feelings so that I can move on and trust in God to make all things right and just. I trust Him to lead us where He wants us to go. I totally trust Him in all his dealings with my loved ones. I trust that He has the best in mind for our family, even though I can't see it. I trust You, God, for You are the only One who has proven trustworthy all the time. I love You and I will always serve You.

money

Today is scary. We are so out of money. I have a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I don't know what else we can do. I try to curb our spending, but there are things we need to buy and do. It is so difficult righ now. I hate telling my husband this, but I have to. He is so stressed right now with all the work he does. I'm going to go to my room to pray and read the Bible to get me through this day. There seems to be no hope for this money situation to get any better. My only hope is in Christ.

In The Valley

My friend introduced me to Sovereign Grace Music. I have the Psalms and The Valley of Vision. I love these CDs. There is one song called In The Valley that really moves me. When I'm feeling down or having a difficult day, I stop everything and play and sing this song. It is just beautiful.

I'm so thankful to my Mom who made me practice the piano everyday. She also made me play for church when I was about 14 or 15. I started playing for the church choir when I was 16. I didn't particularly want to do these things or I felt that I couldn't do these things, but my Mom knew I could. Thanks, Mom, for believing I could do something special.

Wrappping it all up

I am in the process of finishing up our school year. We still have one more softball game and about 4 more baseball games before we leave for Hawaii on May 19. I want to get most of my end-of-the-year school work done before we leave so that I can add all the fun Hawaii school stuff in when I get back home. I can't wait to step out of the Honolulu airport and feel the breeze and smell the beautiful flowers. The kids are jazzed to spend so much time with their grandparents because they get so much attention from them. It will be awesome to listen to my Dad's sermons again - I miss him immensely.

I'm hoping that next school year will be less stressful than this one. After this first year of homeschooling high school, anything will be easy.

Glorious Sermon

Today at church our friend, Mike Moody, preached an awesome sermon. I absolutely loved it! He spoke about how we must have a high view of Scripture. We must believe all of Scripture as God's Word. We can't just pick and choose pieces to believe and pieces not to believe. He used various passages in Scripture to validate this point. It was just so good and wonderful. I'm thankful for Mike and his family.

A Lovely Magazine

Yesterday I received 2 Seasons at Home magazines. I love this magazine! It is so uplifting and encouraging. It makes me want to drag out my old sewing machine and "remember" how to sew. I love all the feminine ideas in it. It's one of the tools I use to keep my mind in the right place - that is, home with my family.

I've been really working on filling my mind with thoughts that are pure, good, kind and right. My mind gets VERY carried away by the movies I watch, the books I read and the music I listen to. I don't know if all people are like this, but I am. I've realized that I am extremely affected by what I see and hear. I'm choosing to focus on true things that encourage me on my way to being a modest, godly, stay-at-home wife and mother.

Arin as Anne Frank

Tonight I went to see my niece in her school's production of The Diary of Anne Frank. She was absolutely shining! Her performance got a standing ovation tonight and it was well deserved. I can't believe she memorized all those lines, and her acting was flawless. I'm amazed by her talent. She is an extraordinary person.

A New Beginning

I've decided to have a blog again, so here I go. I don't know how much I'll be able to post, but we'll see. I also want to be able to comment on my friend's blogs, and I can't do that without an account!