Monday, August 10, 2009

My life in FA

Sunday was my 1 year and 5 month anniversary of being abstinent in FA. (It's like being sober in AA). There are so many changes in my life, it's hard to know where to start.

First of all, I lost 50 lbs in 10 months. I have been the same weight I am now since January 5. I can honestly say that I have not been compulsively obsessed with food for these last 17 months. That is the grace of God.

What I really love about FA is that I get to go out and eat an anniversary meal with my husband and completely enjoy it. Before, with all the diets and ways I tried to control my food addiction, I would go out to eat and a) either eat something I did not want to eat (like a little salad or something really tiny) or b) leave the restaurant rolling out the door because I was so full (later telling myself what a pig I was, how disgusting I was, etc). With FA, I just enjoy a good meal. I know that sounds like crazy talk and it was crazy!!! The kind of life I led in the midst of my addiction was horrible. I was miserable. Every morning was misery because I had tried to control my eating the day befire only to end up binging every night. It was truly hopeless.

Since the first day of FA, I was released from the obsession and compulsion I had around food. Praise God. I had hope and it has remained with me since then. Something we say in FA is: We know that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. I finally let go of my way of eating (and thinking about eating) and allowed the people in FA to help me.

OK - another thing I've received from FA - peace. My husband and I just got back from our little trip to the lake and we had a great time. We were so relaxed. Scott has been going through some really tough things lately, but God has given us both a deep peace. How can we be peaceful in the midst of difficulties? It is only by God's grace. We have accepted His grace in our lives. The piece of my heart that belonged to food now belongs to God. I am free from food addiction so that I can be totally addicted to God. Now I am able to open up my whole heart to Him and accept whatever He has to give me.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference
Thy loving will be done in and through me this day
Amen

3 comments:

  1. Praise the Lord for this! Steve is fighting the same addiction and the Lord is prevailing. I have seen such a change and yes, peace and hope in him since he has started this weight loss journey. He has last 40 lbs in about 3 months and is completely committed to changing his lifestyle. He is seeing so many benefits to it. He has started Tae Kwon Do and is riding his mountian bike everywear. He loves that his uniform is fitting better, too! Praise God! I honestly, didn't think it would ever happen. 14 years of prayers are finally being answered!

    Jenn, I'm so happy for you. I have lived with a food addict for 14 years and it has been heart breaking to watch.

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  2. That is just so awesome! We all are addicted to something, and I believe addictions can change. This post is a reminder that God is the only one who can change our hearts and habits. Great post!

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  3. Stacie - My heart did flips when you told me about Steve. I am so happy that he is doing so well. Keep praying for him daily. I know how much you care about his health, both physical and mental. I will keep him in my prayers.

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