A New Home, A New Start

A new home and a new start - that's where I am tonight. We just moved into our new house this weekend. I was overwhelmed by the help we have received from our family and friends who helped us move, brought us food, helped pack and unpack, mowed our grass, fixed our fridge, cleaned our old house, etc. We are truly blessed. This is the first house I have felt a permanence about because I'm not waiting on something or someone to "show up". I'm not waiting on a promised full-time salary for Scott or any other promises. We just are us. Living in this house. It feels good.

We have had quite a long list of moves in the past 22 years. Here's the summary: We rented our first apartment because it was close to school - we knew it wasn't going to be permanent. We moved to a bigger condo to be closer to work, but we knew that wasn't permanent either. We moved to a country place and had our first baby. Then Scott's job situation changed, so we decided to try our luck in The Dalles, Oregon. In The Dalles, we lived with my grandparents for 2 1/2 months, in an apartment for 2 1/2 months, and then in a farmhouse. We knew we could only stay if Scott could find and keep a job. We stayed there for 4 years, had 2 more babies, then moved to Portland for 10 months while Scott went to school. We moved back to California to take care of Scott's Grandma, and we lived in her home. That always felt temporary because living there was conditional. We ended up living there 8 years (having 1 more baby). Then on to an apartment for 5 months while waiting for my parents' house. Then we  lived in my parent's house while they lived in Hawaii. Then we moved to Napa for a job that didn't pan out the way we had hoped, so we have moved on to this house.

Now I'm sitting here in our little 3 bedroom 2 bath house that sits tucked away down a gravel driveway in the middle of Napa, and I love it. I have a beautiful green lawn in front, beautiful rose bushes outside my kitchen window, plenty of room for a garden, and a cute 50s retro kitchen that I absolutely LOVE.

All that said, things aren't perfect at my house. I still struggle with my food addiction. I still mess up daily with homeschooling - I'm finally figuring out that the mess ups ARE homeschooling. I still wish I had a better relationship with my sister. I miss my daughter terribly while she is in Africa. I worry that I'll somehow run out of time and not get to do all the things I want to do in life.

But tonight, today, I'm good. I have my recovery program. I have a place to sleep, a place to live and a place to feed my family. Thank you, God. That's been my prayer this weekend.

Thank You. Thank You. Thank You.